margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
