using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize