I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
