ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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