You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
