There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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