Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
