Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
