dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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