We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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