I'm drive I can fine osifer
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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