if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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