I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
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Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
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Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
is it fun? or sober?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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