Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
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I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
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Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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