i barfeds in our rink
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
