Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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