well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
