I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
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I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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