Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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