What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
