I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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