I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You ate ashes out of my bong
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
