this just has baby written all over it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize