so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
