I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
