Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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