why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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