It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
