No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just high enough for therapy.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
