I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
