dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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