need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
