I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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