is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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