perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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