if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize