What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's never too late to be topless.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
