I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
