we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
nutella sex= disaster
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
