dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
