My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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