i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize