I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
