Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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