I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
