I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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