What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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