Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
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I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
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That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet