He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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