i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
