you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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