I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Congratulations! We have a period
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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