me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
