Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Never let your siblings swipe right.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize