you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
