I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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