while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
