That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
