is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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