y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
