He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's