She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.