yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I wish I only lived at night.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".