he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...