so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
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She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
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I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.