maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
